The reality of bipolar disorder

My name is Cindy. I am a stay at home mom of two special needs children. I have bipolar disorder. There is a stigma that follows me around. If you are bipolar, you're supposed to be completely crazy right? WRONG! It isn't easy to lead a normal life, it will probably never be easy, but I can keep trying. The purpose of this blog is to introduce people to the reality of living with bipolar disorder. I didn't know that I had bipolar for a very long time. I found out that it is triggered by a stressful event in your life. Mine was the birth of my second child, my son. You see, he was born with a rare form of spina bifida called lipomyelomeningocele. After his birth I felt very depressed, and I sought medical treatment. After years of different meds and limited counseling, nothing was working. All during this time my son was having constant medical issues. My husband was supportive, at first. The meds made me gain weight and I walked around like a zombie. After awhile I felt lonely and had nowhere to turn. No one in my life understands my illness. No one ever cared to try to understand. My husband turned away from me, calling me lazy and thinking I didn't want to change myself. The truth was that his words hurt and spiraled me deeper into my illness. I have struggled for years on and off my meds. My children struggle daily with their medical issues, and I stay strong for them on the outside. On the inside ,I have been crumbling for years, and so has my marriage. Through this blog I hope to help others struggling as well as open the eyes of the world around us. I know those are high hopes, but maybe some day.